Heartbreaker

If I become the memory
Let me stay in your mind
For a little bit longer
Don't forget me so fast
Cos there is no place for me to stay
Heart-pain become so numb
Everyday is hard for me
The dream, the memory is the willpower
It is the only thing I can use to stand for myself
I don't know how long I can stand
Do my best as I can
The string is pulling, pulling so tightly
Until it snapped into two half
Extremely pain, but I holding back my tears
... Just like a heartbreaker ...

An unfilial son

今早和母親閒談一輪，每次都感到十分痛心
雖然她沒有說什麼
但從她的表情，言談中字裡行間
都感受到她為我擔心
我不是一個好兒子
明白”孝順”這二字也只不過７、８年前的事
在這之前我更是一個自我中心的*XX
但在父母，尤其是母親的”呵護”下
我只是不想 ”樹欲靜而風不息”
這令我更明白”孝順 ”、”珍惜”這些字背後的沈重
現在要在這時候，在她有至親的離開
再加上我這次不孝的行為
我真的十分內疚．．．
但卻不能因此而停下來．．．不可以．．．
雖然我明白只要我不令他們擔心已經是”孝順 ”他們
但我更”珍惜”和他們，及所有人一齊的時間
如果要我散盡金錢、減壽，可以換來他們健康平安
那真的絲毫不想地應承

自己變得太眼淺，一想到這些

不其然就有哭的衝動
這數個月都是自己一個人哭
但今天卻想在一個人懷內哭
希望是周獸那或 Angleardaddy
（不想在公司哭，唯有對自己講難 gag）
．．．．．．
如果”珍惜”等於不想令自己深愛的人擔心的話
我真的不想任何人為我擔心
而我更會珍惜身邊所有人和事
包括．．．你．．．

*在你認知中最粗俗、用來罵人的說話代替XX

On bed

用了一個多小時
去看這數個月我寫的文章
去感受這段日子以來的傷感
不能否認我在折磨自己
但這樣才能了解自己更多
因為......我太懦弱了
不得不承認的事實
可能因為傷心的感覺又回來了
晚上的憂鬱又發作
想著你，我心在痛
忘掉你，又捨不得
只可以......

Russian Roulette

Playing Russian Roulette game
Miss a shot, what a shame
Every try is the same
Let me murder my own vulnerability
I will take all the blame
To exchange all the pain

Stood up on the floor, read out the vow
To show my guilty on the blog
"I will never love anymore"
Is it the honor my promise,
Or the lies make me frustrated?

The promise cannot be fulfill
Equal to the lies, can't make it real
Fire to the liar, use my own gun
The bullet has no bias, hopeless to won
I am a loser, no faith, no bravery, no guts
But I'm not the selfisher that needs to run
The muzzle point to me, say the words from my heart
...... I ...... [bang!]

Groove in heart

Gorillaz - Dirty Harry

...

I need a gun to keep myself from harm
The poor people are burning in the sun
But they ain't got a chance
They ain't got a chance
I need a gun
'Cos all I do is dance
'Cos all I do is dance
.
.
.
I need a gun to keep myself along...

I don't need a heart, just need a gun?
To keep myself from pain
To keep myself from sadness
Fill in the bullet, load into the shooter
Aim to my heart, synchronize rhythm
Five, Four, Three, Two, One...
Press the trigger, is time to over
It's really groove, isn't it, loser?

Smile

If you have seen the film "Batman - The dark Knight (2008)"
You must remember the actor "Heath Ledger" (The Joker)
In the film, there are two shots The Joker explain why his face like that
One is related to his father, another one is related to his ex-wife
This is the one related to his wife: (2:07 - 3:14)

"...You look nervous. Is it the scars? You wanna know how I got 'em? Come here. Look at me. So I had a wife. Beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry to much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks? One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just wanna see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars! So, I stick a razor in my mouth and do this, to myself. And you know what? SHE CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF ME! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!..."

That's the one scars story of Joker
Maybe the story is Joker's imagination, not real
The story is really sad, but I can't fully understand what Joker's feeling
However I know what the feeling is now......
I'm the one who won't show my actually feeling in my face
So somehow I'm very sad, but I will show the smile in my face
As Joker said "Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!"
Cry inside, Smile outside

Why so serious!?!

There

舅父
明早將會送您最後一程
也是我們最後一次和您走在一起
我想您已經在遠處看著我們
您那裡也是我的終點
只想到：
「今夕吾軀歸故土，他朝君體也相同」
大家也是向著這終點邁進
只是您先行一步而已
那就沒有什麼可怕，悲傷了
人生短短的數十年
不想再虛度每一秒
讓我真真正正在這世上好好活著看一看
然後再到您那處，相見......

Blind Spot of Myself

Tear off the lies
Don't believe the truth
I don't afraid to cry
But is it really good to be alive?
I draw my mind on the blog
Let future me to ridicule what I did before
Each of the post is a grid of film
Slowly, repeatedly to play it again
In the stopped moment
I record it inside the words
Let me sit silent on the floor, hide inside the box
Read again each word I wrote
Help me once again to know myself in this blind spot

Primary 5 student

Surfing the internet without any purpose
*But luckily find an essay from a Primary School :

A Dive-sub Trip

          When I was taking photos, I saw a monster. Its eyes are big. Its nose is big. Its mouth is big. It has no body. Its face is big. Its hand is small. It was scary and ugly. It knocked on the dive-sub door because it was bored and wanted to go inside. I prayed that the monster would not come. My friend also prayed. In the end, I and my friend thought we would die, but Jesus helped us to go up to the sea surface. I and my friend were very happy.

By Sin Long Sang

 

Written by a Primary 5 student ... 10 years old
I really want to meet him (I guess he is a boy)
Blog "SINg a LONG S@NG" post an essay written by Sin Long Sang
What a funny thing! XD




* Ref: http://www.htsps.edu.hk/Web/05_stuPlace/lang-eng/0708/2nd_5B24.htm

Woke up from Dream

星期日晚上發左Lee個夢：

＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝

我係一個商場既鋪頭出面睇梗野
而我帶緊handfree接駁住右手褲袋裡的iphone
突然我發覺有人用手拉handfree條線
連我iphone都拎起左
我轉頭一望，一個好醜樣地中海既呀叔
佢想偷我部iphone
我一望，佢就走
雖然佢偷唔到，但我唔想俾佢就咁走左去
我咪追佢lor......追左一段路
點知佢突然停左，轉身係我面前
用手拉我條handfree線，拉起左部iphone
跟住係我面前偷左佢，轉頭就走
我呆左，真係好嬲
我一路大叫偷野，一路追
但對腳好似唔多識郁咁
可能因為現實既我剛剛行完山好倦啦
但我大叫既時間，好多人都幫我手追
佢地幫我捉住左個地中海
個死人地中海就話係我賣部iphone俾佢，唔係偷
我就好嬲咁講：唔駛講咁多，報警啦
跟住去到警局，我就對警察講番事件既經過
個地中海就冷笑咁話我講大話
佢講左句：o靚仔，你幾大呀？我駛偷你D野?
聽完，我嬲得好緊要，就不斷用粗口鬧佢
最後佢可以保釋...佢跟住我
我又不停用粗口鬧佢，直情想打佢
但我記得係夢既最後，我問佢：你幾*多歲呀?**
(*為粗口字眼)

 ＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝夢完，醒左＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝

初初夢醒，我真係唔知個夢點解
後來大概自己都估到Ｄ......

...
是緣是債是場夢
夢迴夢醒都心痛
...

是嗎？