A letter to jiji

Dear jiji，

jiji你近來好嗎？有冇咬報紙曳曳呢？識
了你4年了，由初頭對天竺鼠的你一無所知
，了解你的可愛，到喜歡上你，我己當了你
是我的女兒了。
你現在有mon mon同你媽媽陪你，但你知
不知道你其他的朋友仔已經上了天國。你媽
媽好傷心，喊左好耐，我都好傷心，但我只
是偷偷地喊。兩個人一齊喊，邊個安慰對方
呢？所以你要乖乖咁健康地成長，唔好令你
媽媽擔心啦，知冇？jiji你或者唔知道，我鍾
意你地天竺鼠既程度竟然令我發夢夢見你
既同類死在我懷裡，我係夢裡喊左出黎，醒
左都好唔開心。
對唔住呀jiji，我走既一日冇見你一面，我
估以後都冇機會見到你，冇得將你放係我肚
腩上望著你，冇得摸你的頭，冇得幫你剪毛
洗白白，更加冇得疼你了。但我會一直都咁
鍾意你，掛住你，我知你會知道既。我喊住咁
打lee封信俾你，因為你冇機會睇到，聽到，知
道我有幾鍾意你，掛住你了。
你BB既相仍然係我電腦既wallpaper，望
住佢就好似陪住你一樣，黎減輕我對你既思
念...嗚嗚...嗚嗚嗚......我叫得好難聽，希望你
聽到啦。

健康地成長

愛你既爸爸
Answer

Rainwater, or tears?

Before you said

"It will be sunny after the rain"

Yes, you are right

＂雨後會天晴＂

但我不屬於那片晴空
我不是一個悲劇人物
不應扮得如此悲慘
對，但我只是如實般寫出我的感受
還差一步，我們便一齊行人生另一階段
但現在只剩下我一個人了

現在問自己我是什麼
我比喪屍更不如
至少喪屍會咬人想食野
但我連食慾都沒有
連呼吸生存的權利都想放棄
我什麼都不是......
我知道你看不起現在的我
我也看不起我自己
只是，連我自己也不知道
你在我心目中的分量
原來那麼重，真的很重
重得能將我整個人打垮
完完全全粉碎了......

You, complete my life
Also make me in pieces
Although I become a small piece
I still love you, can't forget the love you gave me
Everything about you, never forget......

Find somewhere I belong

[Linkin park - Somewhere I belong]

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck/hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
[erase all the pain 'til it's gone]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere/only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain/hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
[erase all the pain 'til it's gone]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
[erase all the pain 'til it's gone]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal
I wanna feel like I'm
Somewhere I belong

Somewhere I belong....

沒有地方讓我哭
每晚在床上
陪著我的只有你曾經睡在我旁的影像
無論張開眼, 或者合上眼
腦袋只有思念
淚水便從眼流出來
不能哭出聲, 不能讓人知道
直至淚水流乾......

我還能撐多久
不知道, 每日也想完結的念頭

我快不行了......