眠眠細語 催眠治療師 Natalie
性感可愛的「o靚模」
......在我治療的個案中，
有很多女人擁有高薪厚職，
但不少都提出類似的問題：
男人是否不喜歡女性太叻？
如果有時候能天真些簡單些會否較易相處？
我採用家庭治療先驅───鮑恩的理論回答她們，
他指出在一段關係中最理想是彼此能做到「自主而相繫」，
既獨立自主亦享受共處，
求同存異，
確認自己及別人的獨特性，
強調自我認同非為他人讚賞，
毋須要求自己或對方扭曲本性迎合別人，
這才能造就高質素的快樂愛情。......
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Reference from Wikipedia
Murray Bowen
Differentiation of Self
......To have a well-differentiated "self" is an ideal that no one realizes perfectly. They recognize that they need others, but they depend less on other's acceptance and approval. They do not merely adopt the attitude of those around them but acquire their principles thoughtfully. These help them decide important family and social issues, and resist the feelings of the moment. Thus, despite conflict, criticism, and rejection they can stay calm and clear headed enough to distinguish thinking rooted in a careful assessment of the facts from thinking clouded by emotion. What they decide and say matches what they do. When they act in the best interests of the group, they choose thoughtfully, not because they are caving in to relationship pressures. Confident in their own thinking, they can either support another's view without becoming wishy-washy or reject another's view without becoming hostile......
多麼理想的愛情
或許這就是理論與現實的不同之處
學了，明白了，那又有什麼用？
如果天你想我學識
我不知道的我會學
我不明白的我會問
但不要讓我從經歷中學習，好嗎？
我已經付不起箇中的學費了
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